IT STARTS WITH A POST

I started with the idea of having a blog before I was really active in the Instagram community. My goals were to showcase a real girl that is involved in the fitness world. Not someone that is strictly fitness orientated, like the big names that are so famous on social media. Those girls that eat a strict diet of measured protein, carbs and fats every day come rain or shine. I wanted to be someone that loved food, has a life outside of fitness and health, goes out sometimes too many times in a week to eat food that isn’t the healthiest but to enjoy my friends and family and show that it is okay to not be perfect. 

LOSING TRACK

Somewhere along the road in the last 2 months or so I got caught up in the social media side of it all. Worried that if I don’t eat clean for 5-6 days out of the week my abs won’t be out enough to take a photo for that #morningabs tag. I realised I was suddenly so stressed and wrapped up in ‘likes,’ comments, when & what to post at what time, that I wasn’t even really enjoying being on social media anymore. It was becoming a nuisance!

TOO MANY HESITATIONS

It went from a place that made me gain confidence I had never had before, found girls that were like minded & enjoyed for half an hour or so a day, to a place that was always in the back of my mind.

“I need to post something.”

“What am I going to post today?”

“My Abs are gone.”

“I’ve been eating too badly to catch up on any of these tags.”

“I’ve been too busy to make any #whatsonmyplate foods to post a photo.”

“My food doesn’t look pretty enough.”

“The lighting isn’t good enough.”

I HATE THIS. WHO AM I?

TIME FOR A CHANGE

It was time for a change. Time for me to reassess my goals & intentions. Why did I start this journey, what was the point, what am I getting out of this & is it bringing anything truly positive into my life?

I did not start this journey to question myself. I don’t like worrying about something as silly as social media when a year ago I didn’t have it and I was surviving just fine, in fact probably better! I didn’t need constant gratification, likes, comments or attention from strangers to feel good about who I am. I started this to share the real me, to share my real journey, the food I really eat and somewhere along the way I lost the realness of it all. 10 photos in is when it only becomes an acceptable version of me to share with the world? NO. That is crap & I won’t do it anymore.

I am just glad I realised my feelings about this before it had gone on too long and lost complete sight of what this is really supposed to be about & who & what I am REALLY all about.

There are girls on Instagram I see all the time without a 6 pack postings their morning abs photos and I think HELL FUCKING YA! What a rad chick, she is sexy as hell just for having the confidence to post this photo and here I am stressing out about my 2 pack haha.

So… what am I trying to say here?

Well.. simply this. I DON’T WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE.

I am not saying all girls on Instagram are guilty of this and most of you I am super jealous of because your photos look so care free and I realize I want to be like that again. Get back into the fun of Instagram & joy of sharing photos & progress & lose the stress of “Is it good enough?” “I am posting at the right time?” “Are my abs out enough, do I look fat?”… FUCK THAT SHIT. (Excuse my language). I am over it. I am calling quits!

So here is my pledge to myself….

100 DAYS OF POSTING THE FIRST PHOTO I TAKE!

No more 10-30 photos till I get the right one.

I want to feel the ease of taking a photo and posting it. THE END.

I know they won’t all be nice, I know I might look gross in some and wish I didn’t have to post that one, I know I will struggle with some insecure moments at first when I begin for awhile. But I am hoping to fall in love with myself and my flaws all over again. I don’t want to be fake on social media & although I have never edited my photos beyond a filter I AM GUILTY of not using that picture on my phone I took where you can see my little pouch under my belly button.

I am a woman, with curves, with cellulite, with stretch marks, with a little tummy fat hump that never fully goes away even when I work out non-stop and eat mostly well. I don’t want to work for that perfect angle to disguise my problems areas, I want to show you that it is okay to have normal non-Instagram perfect areas on your body and realize they aren’t flaws, they’re being a woman!

So here I go, a challenge for myself, my ego & my hopes that at the end of these 100 days I’ll feel more free, more comfortable in my skin, more at ease with my social media journey and being and show the realest me I can and still have the support and love I have been experiencing with all of you from the beginning!

HOPE YOU JOIN ME ON MY JOURNEY TO FINDING SELF LOVE THROUGH MY IMPERFECTIONS FOR 100 DAYS OF THE FIRST PHOTO POSTING!

#100DaysofReal

All my love, 

Torie Alexandra ♥